Happy New Year

Another hour and a half before the clock strike new year.

1.30 AM

2010

It's the New Year.

Went outside to see if the eclipse has happened. No eclipse. But moon was full. Bathing everything in silvery cold light. Throwing dark menacing shadows all around. Funny how the shadows scare me so now. Unlike six years ago when I first moved in. The silver light was the same but the shadows grew.

1.30 PM

Twelve hours into the new year.

I haven't finished this entry.

Today is 11th. Eleven days into 2010.

How do one say 2010?

Well, coming off 2009 I would naturally say two thousand ten.

I read on Yahoo, that some guys who called themselves the National Association of Good Grammar (NAGG) decreed that 2010 should officially be pronounced "twenty ten" and the subsequent years should be pronounced twenty eleven, twenty twelve etc. The '20" should have been pronounced "twenty" all along because every year in the 20th century was pronounced "nineteen something". "Twenty" follows "nineteen". "Two thousand" doesn't follow "nineteen".

That's LOGICAL, claimed NAGG.

However, a noted linguist, Professor George Lakoff of UC Berkeley said it is not wrong to say "two thousand ten" because 'twenty ten" is not the right way due to cognitive reference points, standard of speech and the anachronistic recognition over the notion that grammar can be right or wrong as people and cultures evolve.

Thus, the master linguist and the grammar police agree that "Twenty-ten" is going to take over because it is the shortest and easiest to understand.

NOTE!

People and cultures EVOLVE !!!

Hence the field of pragmatics is getting more prominent.

And here we are in a deep polemic over the word Allah.

Some time in 2008, I attended an interfaith dialogue held in KL. At the end of the dialogue, someone asked how many Christians in the audience would say "There's no other god but Allah". A good many did but one person didn't.

Ring: Pessary

On Monday I attended an appointment at neurophysiology unit in HKL for a test to rule out Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Despite the appointment given, I had to wait for the whole hour before I was attended to. It took two hospital assistants to operate one machine. I guess that made such test rather costly.

I had planned to travel directly from HKL to Kuantan for my visit to the gynae on Tuesday. However, I realized a credit card was not in its usual place in my purse. Then I remembered I made a payment at the deposit machine back home and I didn't retrieve it from the slot. Gosh!! And that was one week ago. I didn't store any number to call, so I had to go back home.

Turned out, the card was actually stuck in the machine and the bank has already frozen it because I did not made any inquiry.

Lesson learned: store the hot number in the mobile.

Early Tuesday morning I drove to Kuantan and reached the hospital just in time for the appointment at 11.00 am. Still, I didn't get to see the doctor until almost 1.00 pm. 

The appointment was a follow up for the MEA procedure I underwent in March. The appointment was supposed to be last September but I totally forgot about it. I put the reminder in my mobile and the battery went flat on the day of the appointment. So much for technology!

Well, the procedure worked. I no longer have the same complaint. The only one left was the prolonged coughing I have been having, giving me problem with leaking bladder. The gynae said at my age, it is common for some muscles to start weakening and since previous urodynamics test done prior to MEA ruled out sensitive bladder so the gynae suggested pessary ring to address the problem.

The gynae made intelligent guess about the ring size based on my age and body size. She asked for the biggest size. They don't have it in stock. The gynae went on to use a smaller ring and offered a houseman to try her hands at fixing it in.

The gynae warned of possible bleeding and discomfort. That was enough to make the experience painful ... imagined mostly.

However it turned out the ring wouldn't fit. So the pain was not imagined after all.

The attending nurse didn't believe it when the gynae asked her to bring the smallest ring.

I was told to come back to the clinic at any time without appointment should the ring pop out or on occurance of any other unexpected problem.

I dared not make the 2 hours drive home so I put up at my daughter's place in Pelindung. The rest of the afternoon and the whole night, the ring rubbed me silly and it felt like being 'f***ed' from inside sending me exploding every now and then. I felt slightly feverish the whole night and decided to go back to the clinic.

I called up the clinic in the morning and was advised to come the next day because it was an OT day for many of the doctors. I spent the whole day resting and surfing the net. 3G is available in Kuantan and my daughter has a 3G wireless broadband modem which makes surfing the net easy. I was able to view some interesting videos, something I was not able to do at home due to my small broadband and slow modem.

Managed to download an old song by Titiek Puspa 'Minah Gadis Dusun' for practice. Hope I made it through the audition on 20th of the month for AKSHAH, a two yearly event organised by my alumni graced by HRH the Sultan of Pahang. Yup! Another performance for the royal scheduled for February next year.

Tok Guru Ngaji

This photo was taken on last EidulAdha. The lady is my old teacher - Tok Guru Ngaji - who taught me to read the Quran when I was 11 years old. Accept for bending back, she looks the same after 38 years. I lost count of how many children she has. Her eldest is five years my junior and her youngest is many years younger than my own.

I left my village at the age of 12. Went to a boarding school in Kuantan, went on into teacher training college in Melaka, posted to schools in Kelantan, Perak and N9. Went on to further my study in England and finally came back home to settle down while getting married and divorced, and raising up two children in between.

It's been seven years since I came home and every year I would meet my old Tok Guru Ngaji who never failed to visit my parents every eid.

I came to know that my Tok Guru Ngaji suffered post natal blues towards her later birth givings. Perhaps the stress of too many children and her late husband, a self employed man who preferred to spend his time with his 'Dikir Barat' group. Because she gave birth almost every year, she seemed to be perpetually in the condition. The villagers came to accept her in her confused state. One of her sons married a teacher and stayed with her. She still goes out to peddle her garden produce and local cakes she made to the estate workers in the neighbourhood.

A dear, kind hearted lady.

My Tok Guru Ngaji.

Purple Flowers in Kool

Spent the whole of last week helping Epit do the lawn. The flowers have been neglected for almost two years now. The fountains we built have dried out filled with dried bamboo leaves. Even the bamboo dried out in the flower pot and last raya Epit lugged the heavy pot to the rubbish hole but for the expensive pot, it was left on the bank and new sprouts started showing when the rain started.

When we first celebrated raya in the house, we went all out to do up the lawn which included two self-made  fountains and a piece of trellis work put up by the fountain to hide the unfinished garage.

Then I planted this purple flower and when all else withered through my neglect over the past couple of years ... it hang on and still give me the pleasure of its beauty. And I don't even know what is it called.

Eidul Adha with Hornbills

Update 21/06/10
It was late afternoon on Friday 18th, the eve of my birthday when there was this loud 'cackle' coming from the coconut trees in front of the house. Told Ayong to get the camera out for I wanted to 'catch' pictures of the birds. It was too far off for the digital compact camera but I insisted. This is her best shot [cropped and enlarged 2x].

.

Went to bed in the wee hour .. it was already close to 4.00 am. Was cooking the peanut sauce for eid's breakfast with the children. At about 6.30 am ..there was this loud 'cackle'. I recognized the sound. It was the hornbills. I have seen them around the house a few times but it was never this close. I got out of bed and peered through the glass of my bedroom window.

There it was ... perched on the tip of the gabled roof of the porch. It's faded black and white feathers and the white bill againts the gray morning sky made it looked like a wooden carving. I tiptoed to my daughter's room to get the camera and tiptoed back to the window. As I tried to get it into the lens .. it flew away cackling merrily.

Again I was left with a googled picture.


However, the image of a hornbill perched on the tip of the gable on early EidulAdha morning left a very strong and pleasant impression.

The bird stuck around until evening.

I am hoping it will return to perch on the gable again tomorrow morning.

I Dreamed A Dream

Network sucks. Can't load my cyber farms. Lost quite a lot of coins. Almost bankrupt. Done PMR marking. Resigned from SPM marking since two years ago. The stress was too much. Age rode on bullet train and caught up with me ahead of time [hahaha].


As usual, am finding it hard to articulate my thoughts. In dire need of good stimulant to get started. Seriously considering ciggy but for the persistent coughing and wheezing which requires relief from Salmodil. Perhaps I need to go back to the inhalers.


The sky has been heavily casted with dark nimbus for the past whole week. Some parts of the country has been flooded and rain has not ceased for days now.


Attended a meeting of sort hold at De Palma Shah Alam last week to discuss songs for the upcoming AKSHAH. Hit a milestone with knot. Regret is creeping in now. 

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love will never die
I dreamed that god will be forgiving
But the tiger come at night
With the voice as soft as thunder
As it tears your hopes apart
And it turn you dreams to shame
And still I dreamed he'll come to me
That we will live our lives together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this HELL I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has KILLED the dream I dreamed

Culpable homicide?

I was so pissed off when I read this in the newspaper today.


In my humble opinion, this is a clear cut accident case because the woman failed to control her car when the man stopped his motorcycle. The man is a thief but I am sure the woman has no murder on her mind at the time of impact. He must have stopped suddenly and the woman could have rammed into the fence and killed herself. 


I bet in some countries, lawyers would run over each other to advise the woman to sue this newspaper for the choice of words ".. he died after his victim RAN OVER HIM in her car in a dead-end valley". 


That's blatant slander.


I have a daughter. This could be her!

Moon Halo

Last night at about 9.00 pm, I took a steaming mug of black coffee to my favourite spot under the warm tropical sky to partake in my favourite pastime - sky gazing on full moon night. It was 14th Zulkaedah 1430H.

As I came out the door, the night was bright. I took my own sweet time before looking up the sky because I knew the moon was full.

When I did .. I saw something like this.

No! I didn't take this picture. I only had a 3mp phonecam. The whole phenomenon only appeared as a white dot on the screen. I googled moon halo and got this image here [moon halo]. It is the nearest image to what I actually saw. After sometime, I received an SMS from a friend in town telling me to get outside and watch the moon. Only then it occured to me to share the awesome phenomenon with my loved ones. I frantically sent SMS to every one on my phone list. It was hard SMS'ing while looking up at the moon! But I was glad I did. They enjoyed the rare occurance. A dear friend who lives on the 8th floor, climbed to the roof of a 10-storey building to catch the halo but the haze was too thick on his sky.


This was not so much about the beauty but to stand right smack in the middle of such a breathtakingly awesome display of nature was such a humbling experience.


By 10.30 the clouds move in and it was over.


So, this is the best I have. Alhamdulillah.


Ask yahoo yields this explanation:- 


That breathtaking vision in the night sky is the result of ice crystalsrefracting the light of the moon. The halo rings the moon when high, thin cirrus clouds made up of millions of these crystals cover the sky. The moon's light enters into the hexagonal-shaped ice structures and is bent before passing out another side of the crystals, causing a ring of light to appear around the moon. But this phenomenon is not limited to the moon -- given the right conditions, you can spot a sun halo as well.
Halos typically appear as a ring of white light around the moon or the sun, but they can also appear in color patterns. The most common type of halo is the 22-degree halo, so-called because the ice crystals refract the light of the moon or sun at an angle of 22 degrees. A less-common type of halo is the 46-degree variety, which has a larger diameter than the 22-degree but is also fainter.
According to folklore, a moon halo indicates that bad weather is on the way. There may be some truth to this since the halo is usually caused by high-altitude cirrus clouds that precede a warm front and an associated storm.
One dark, cloudy night, you might also be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of another spectacular moon show -- the lunar corona, when the moonlight is diffracted into hazy colored rings.

Syawal 1430

It is black and white this year for us [green 2007 and yellow 2008. And the curtain behind is my attempt until 4 am in the wee hours of Syawal. One third finished. But hung it anyway. Will finish it next year's Syawal ... hehehe!

The clan. My elder brother and his family of 5 children and 2 grandchildren are missing again this year. He has to work on raya day. Also missing is a widowed younger sister with her 2 girls. This younger sister was trusted into the care of a relative when she was few months old because my mother had to undergo an operation and I was barely 9 years old then. My father turned to a relative to help look after her. The relative 'refused' to return her after some times and with my mother's poor health and my father's unsteady income, things just flowed by and days turned into weeks, weeks into months, months into years and she grew up hating the fact that she was 'given' away while the rest of us were 'kept'. I guess she never forgave us for that.

So, this year, again I led the procession of forgiveness seeking from the parents. It got easier every year with everyone taking up the cue accordingly. Even the three years old twins.

Baba got emotional when some neighbours in the spirit of Eid, sent 'ang pau' [money filled envelope; adapted from the chinese culture]. He took offence in the good spirit arguing that such deed make him looked so pathetic. The neighbours are females. And just as old as he is. Just as unwell.

Baba has been overly emotional over every damn small things.

I have to keep telling myself and my mum and brothers to let him be. No need to argue with him. Just bear with his 'weird' way unconditionally. A man is a king in his own 'castle'. Treat him with respect.

We managed to end the day with a small bbq. All in all, it was a great Eid celebration for our small family.

I hope the nephews and nieces will remember each raya with fond memories.

SELAMAT HARI MERDEKA

Selamat hari kemerdekaan yang ke 52.

Last night I saw a programme on Discovery about a lion dance competition world level. Malaysian team made it AGAIN as the champion. Watching the happiness of the team members as they hugged one another ... it was pure joy.

I thought it was held in China or Taiwan or Hong Kong or Singapore. But turned out it was held in Genting Highland. Sadly, not even one Malaysian flag was shown in the show. And what struck me most was the absence of Malaysianess in the show. I kind of expect in an event at world level, at least Minister of Tourism would be there to present the championship cup.

Sad.

I remember once as I was undergoing physiotherapy at a hospital, a lady alleged that the chinese in Singapore are LESS chinese than the chinese in Malaysia. This winning kind of accentuate that allegation. They are even better than the mainland chinese in lion dance.

What do you know. They are Malaysian Chinese.

In America, the citizens are identified as African American or Korean American to denote they are American citizens of African or Korean decendant.

So why Malaysian Chinese and Malaysian Indian?

I do not believe it is a linguistic error. We got our independence from the British. Should there be any linguistic error in the official term used for such reference, I am sure it would not go uncorrected.

So what do Malaysian Chinese and Malaysian Indian denote? That they are Chinese and Indian CITIZENS of Malaysian descendant?

I am also of the opinion that is the purpose of vernacular schools. To prepare their children for the time they go back home to their mainland. Hence the term of reference fits all purpose and intent.

But no! As time goes by, this land of plenty beyond the tropical sea offers more opportunities. As the saying goes, "Seperti Belanda minta tanah" and "Beri betis hendak paha" they wouldn't be happy until they get everything. Look at Singapore!

What a sad affair.

All Americans, Britons, Australians etc speak one language and have one culture but here in Malaysia, the Malaysian Chinese and Malaysian Indians are more chinese and more indian than the people of the mainland themselves. Instead of they becoming Malaysians, they want Malaysia to be little China and little India with their own court and emperor and maharaja.

The winner of the World Lion Dance competition was Malaysian Chinese!

Malaysia oh tanah airku. Tanah tempat tumpah darahku.

My Final Curtain?

It's Sunday and usually I would sleep in on Sunday. However I have been trying to finish my raya curtain and it's not even half way done. So I got up 'early' [weekend early that is] and went straight to the sewing machine. Darn! No electricity! But I antipated that and had bought a new belting so I can operate the machine by foot pedal.

It was almost twelve when I finally managed to fix the new belting. It has been so long ago since I last operate the machine on foot paddle and my coordination of necessary limbs seemed out of sync. And the electricy came back on just then. Sheezzzz!!! I wasted almost 5 hours making a hole in the belt and securing the pin [lost a lot of sweat,half my mind, ALL my patience and almost losing a finger hehehe!].

A few rounds and the sewing came to a halt! Turned out to be a loose screw. My back started aching and I was struggling to get going when all of a sudden I realized this might be the last curtain I sew. It hit me so profoundly that I burst out in tears uncontrolably.

The last curtain I sew was 5 years ago and I never really finished it but I hung it nevertheless. I could have easily sent it to a tailor but there is some kind of satisfaction in doing my own sewing. I have always taken pride in my needlework.

A long time ago when the children were small I took to tailoring for friends and neighbours to supplement my income when their father was intent on carving his own niche, leaving me to take care of the children on a Rm60 per month of what was left on my payslip. The rest of it was deducted to pay for loans I made for him [not much but it was all I had].

Ayong and Epit have been pestering me for raya curtain since few years back. My excuse was the old curtain was still good. Ayong finished her study and started working last year. In March this year she was transferred to Kuantan and last June she insisted on getting new curtains for the house. We went shopping for curtain material at Ala Moda. Ayong's excitement rubbed on me and I felt well enough to tackle the sewing. Nothing fancy just loads of straight stitching.

So there I was, struggling with meters upon meters of curtain materials and I was hit by a strong emotion. My eyesight is failing. I have to take off my glasses and peered as close as I could get to the needle to get it threaded. I doubt if I could thread the needle in the next 6 years [I'll be 55 then if I am still alive]. That's when it hit me. For all intent and purpose this might be my final curtain [hehehe! feel the hair standing yet?].

There's no word to explain the feeling. The past years of my life flowed by leaving me drained. At about 2.00 PM, Ayong called to tell me she was visiting her father and would not be coming home for the weekend [she had to go to KL on Saturday, her father is staying in Nilai and Monday is Independence Day holiday]. I wasn't expecting her for the weekend [she already told me she won't be coming back] but knowing she was visiting her father made me feel so lonely and very sad.

At about 11.00 pm she called to tell me she was on the way and might reach home at 2.00 AM! I got worried sick thinking she would be driving on Karak highway alone at midnight. She arrived at 1.30AM, raveneous. Unlucky for her because I had mushroom omellete for breaking of fast. No left over! She chose to have instant roti canai with condensed milk because Maggie mee takes longer to cook.

He! he! I am happy again! My daughter is home. Safely.

1 Ramadhan 1430 Hijriah

My son and my daughter came home yesterday to celebrate the coming of Ramadhan 1430 Hijriah. It has been many months since I did any cooking. So I spent the evening cooking dinner for the three of us. Simple menu consisting of fragrant white rice, red spinach with squid soup and fried fish with hot fish sauce. My children missed my cooking and thoroughly enjoyed the simple fares.

We planned to have the customary Ramadhan early morning meal [sahur] at my mother's place which is 10km away. Just before going to bed after midnight, I fried some beef in oyster sauce in preparation for the 'sahur'. The three of us were already wondering if we would be able to get up in the wee hour for the 'sahur'.

My son knocked on my door at 5.00 am. Fasting would start at 5.44 am. My daughter called her grandma to tell her we won't be able to make it. The old lady said she was waiting for us to have the meal together. So we got into the car and rushed the 10km with my son behind the wheel.

We made it just in time. I even managed to have a dessert of fresh rambutan. All in good time. Praise be to Allah!

This afternoon, my daughter took her granny for raya shopping. Her brother took the grandpa to the optometrist in the morning. He wanted to make a new pair of glasses. I bought two pieces of Pagoda brand tshirt for my father.

It was so very long ago that the grandparents took her and her brother shopping for raya.

It was a longer long ago that I took them shopping for raya.

It will not be too distant in the future that they will be doing the shopping for me.

*sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

A Flu

For the past two weeks, students in the hostel were sent back home for flu. Hundreds of them. The health officer came to school on Monday last week to alert us of the raging pandemic. We were told not to go to the hospital in case of flu ... just stay home and isolate ourselves [social distancing and self-imprisonment are the correct terms]. We were also told to get ourselves the surgical mask and to practise good personal hygine ie. to cover our nose and mouth when we cough or sneeze.

At 3.00 pm Monday afternoon this week , as our resource centre was being assessed for a national level competition, a doctor announced the closure of the school. Two students were confirmed with H1N1. Though I sort of expected 'that' to happen since last week with hundreds of students getting the flu daily, still it gave me the sinking feeling. The thought that the 'leave' will have to be replaced on Saturdays leaves me pretty cheesed off.

By the look of things, we are facing a national health emergency. Health Minister is reported to be bandying with 'health curfew'. THe World Health Organization has declared that eight millions of us stand to be infected [wonder how they look at us under the social microscope].

With Ramadhan just around the corner and sugar is on the shortage again [always it's during the fasting month sugar goes short and come Chinese New Year, sugar is not only in abundance but at a lower price. Same goes for chicken and other kitchen essentials like onion and coconut. Weird coincidence!], I am wondering if there will be the usual 'Bazaar Ramadhan'. I sure hope the people have enough sense in them. Even without the threat of a pandemic, it is hard to keep the hygiene at a bazaar with food being displayed publicly and hundreds of people keep comng and going.

Yesterday, Health director-general, on NSTLive session said this disease is going to be around for a long time at least six months to a year.

Gosh!!! The surgical mask is out of stock now. From a mere 30 sen per piece, it sky rocketed to almost rm6 per piece here in my place in the heart of jungle.

Hmm ... perhaps my friend Tabib could recommend me where I can get a hazard mask [like the ones they wear in WW1?]. At least I don't have to change the mask everyday. Surgical mask is to be worn ONCE only, isn't it Tabib?

In the mean time, I will have to practise social distancing ... six months to one year?

SMKA TAHAP: SILVER JUBILEE

SMKA TAHAP celebrated the silver jubilee on 14th July. His Royal Highness the Sultan of Pahang honoured the celebration with his presence.

At the eleventh hour it was decided that some of us would perform songs during lunch. Though I have never done any public performance, I agreed when it was offered me. Not everyone get the opportunity to perform for the Royals [someone said to me that only the best performs for the Sultan ... hehehe!].

It was indeed a historical day for me. Singing for the Sultan of Pahang. But most unexprcted of all was the camaraderie brought forth by my willingness to participate in the event. Other staff who would usually shy away and wouldn't even say hello in the morning, came out teasing and joking and the good atmosphere lasted well into the week and spilled over. Well, I am glad such a small act produces a lingering good feelings. Alhamddulillah!

Today I get to view the photos taken on the day and posted my singing pics on my facebook [here] and that brought another bouts of teasing from my buddies. I love the jovial atmosphere created out of the teasings.

Should do this more often.

Crooner anyone?

Not A Melting Pot But A Cracked Salad Bowl

When I was studying in Nottingham University in 1995, some of my English lecturers made remarks referring to the uniqueness of Malaysian society. They wondered how in the world 'we' the Malaysian survive our differences and not kill each other as compared to other countries where the people are of the same race and culture but different religion. Just look at Sri Lanka, India, some African countries and also Ireland.

However, this 'picture perfect' society seemed to have been shattered after the 12th general election last year. There was a huge swing of votes and the government scraped through with only a very small margin. The opposition won in five states [out of fourteen].

As the world was hit with the worst economic recession in the history, we the Malaysians started falling apart at the seams of 'social harmony'. The 'glue' that hold us together for the past 52 years lost the grip.The country is reeking with racial tension.

Although the opposition did not win the general election, it was hailed as a beginning of a new era for this country. However, I see all the efforts of the past fifty two years crumbling to pieces. Before 2008, when I saw the street demonstations in Thailand, Indonesia and Philipine on TV, I always wonder how many of the demontrators really know their cause. At the back of my mind, there is this nagging question; is there a conspiration by an intelligence body to create havoc and panic in order for them to infiltrate and eventually take over a country. My friends always say I have been watching too much spy movies whenever I voice out my thoughts.

One thing for sure, after 52 years, the pot that has been melting the different cultures and religions is melted. Our differences are now held in a cracked salad bowl. I am wondering beyond yonder, how long before the crack splits. Looking at the way things are going, I doubt it will be very long.

Pa-eh-ya

Drove sixty km yesterday evening to HSBC Mentakab to settle an overdued bill. The grace period was until Friday but as fate had it I had to learn a lesson on that day.

I purposely chose to drive in the evening after office hours rush. I got to park right in front of the bank and it took less than 5 minutes to complete transaction via ATM. Though I am still nervous dealing with the 'machines' but the convenience they afforded me is pretty attractive so I put a lid on the jitters.

It was Sunday and I did not have anything since brunch. I drove around and got a parking space very near Pizza Hut. Got into the restaurant and I was seated promptly.

The place was full with weekend dinner crowd. Took me 40 minutes to get my Paella [new on the menu]. The ice had all melted in my drink and I very almost decided to leave without the Paella when it arrived.

I stared at it for some times thinking the waitress had brought me a wrong order. Really! Look at the picture on the menu.The mussels look freshly juicy and the prawns look plump.

Compare that to the actual Paella served to me after almost 40 minutes of waiting.

And honestly ... nasi goreng 'bodo' [plain fried rice] at my brother's stall taste twice as nice as this 'Pa-eh-ya' at less than one third the price and waiting time. [will get a pic of it very soon].

Huh! I paid rm17.15 for a serving of Pa-eh-ya and a glass of coke plus taxes. I will NOT go there again!!!

Lesson on 49th birthday

Friday 19th was my birthday and I got involved in a minor accident in the afternoon. I was in the middle of a junction with four cars in front of me waiting to get into the main road. My car was stalled right in the middle of the road just as I made it through the junction when suddenly out of the blue, a black Viva rammed into my right front tyre. Obviously the Viva was trying to 'cilok' [cut que] and rammed into me.

It was the time of the day when the call for the Friday prayer was going off any second. The junction was at the main road to the mosque. Busses and cars started hitting their horns and people on bikes and on foot started swarming over the accident. The driver of the Viva, a middle aged man, came out of the car. I couldn't get out.

The din was getting louder. The Viva driver asked me to pull out my car. I complied and he moved his car to the side. I came out to inspect the damage. The driver asked me why I 'suddenly' moved into the road and hit him. I was puzzled because I was in the middle of the road and he must have come from behind so how could I have banged into him. He 'proved' it saying since I was on the left and his car was on the right, so automatically he had the right of way and I was wrong.

Right of way my foot!

He was cutting que!

He banged into me!

I told him that.

He said he was disappointed because not only I did not apologize but I was 'berlagak' [outspoken]. He said it was clearly my mistake.

I stood my ground and I told him he was cutting que.

He asked me to go with him to the police station to make a police report.

I said fine!

I lead the way to the traffic department but the building was locked. I assumed it was closed for the Friday prayer.

The man suggested we go the the main police station in another part of the town. When we got there, we were told that we have to go the the traffic department and that the office was moved to another building.

As I was getting into my car to go back to the traffic department, I thought the man wanted to make a negotiation.

I listened to him.

Again he put the blame on me. I couldn't accept it and said so to him. He invoked the name of Allah to say that he was innocent, blameless. That it was totally my fault for banging him on his left side.

I too said in the name of Allah, I knew I was not wrong. That I was 'driving' on my right place on the road and that he was the one cutting que and hit my right front tyre.

I said I agree to disagree with him and will not make any police report or claim from his car insurance. After all, there was only a slight scratch on my bumper and his left passenger door.

The man wouldn't accept my truce and insisted I apologize to him.

I declined.

He said he needed to go for the Friday prayer and asked me to meet him at the traffic department about an hour later.

I left without saying anything. I knew I have 24 hours to report an accident.

I went home. I didn't even get his car number.

Called my brother to go to the police station with me after Friday prayer. There were two traffic officers around. I told them what happened to me. They advised me it was a case of 'cutting que'. So I decided to wait for the man to make the report first.

Apparently, he never turn up at the station.

I wasted my whole Friday afternoon.

I should have left the moment I decided not to pursue the matter.

O'well, this is the very first time I got into this kind of situation. Although I was convinced I didn't bang into the car, still I was not familiar with the 'legality' of the situation. I didn't want to 'commit' any unnecessary offence.

Well, I learned a lesson on my 49th birthday!

CHANGE

It's my birthday! I am 49. Phewwws!! Never imagine I'll be doing this at 49 [read: writing up a blog, sharing my personal experiences and opinions on the world wide web. hehehe! the most hit I got was when I posted some lyrics of English songs or some Erma Bombeck's poems].

I was reading Demi Negara on Satu Sekolah Untuk Semua [one school for all]. Being a teacher for the past twenty seven years I am very interested in the resolution. From my own sporadic postings here, I have penned my observations about the widening segregation among the various ethnics that made up this blessed land 'rakyat' [people].

Before independent, the British who ruled this country applied the rule and divide policy. The local Malays were kept in their traditional villages tending to their traditional lives of planting rice and catching fish. The chinese were brought in from mainland China to work the mines [tin, gold, iron] and the indians were brought in from mainland India to work in the rubber plantations. The mines and the plantations were the British colonialist's economic resources.

Under the colonialists, towns were developed where there were concentration of the British. Thus towns like Kuala Lumpur, Georgetown and Ipoh became bigger and better [with electricity and piped water] and developed faster [office buildings, business, transportation, hospitals, schools and other amenities]. The chinese and the indians were the major people living in towns in 'dwellings' provided by the colonialist 'Tuans' [employers] whereas the Malays stay in their own attap houses in their kampongs [villages] far from the modernisation and development and the infrastructure.

By the time of the independence, there was a wide economic disparity between the Malays in the 'kampongs' and the non Malays in the towns. When the colonialists left, the Chinese established themselves in the main towns and took over the country's economy. Many Indians who served their English masters were able to speak and write English and thus find themselves in a good job market in the towns leaving their illeterate counterparts in the estates. The Malays were left illiterate in their 'pelita' [kerosene lamp] lit, hand-drawn-water-from-the-well kampongs plowing the padi fields with the help of water buffaloes and going to catch fish in small hand made boats.

During the reign of the colonialist, the chinese and the indians were allowed to have vernacular primary schools for the reason that they would eventually RETURN to their mainlands. They wanted to have their children educated in their curriculum and taught by teachers from the mainland.

After independence they still want to keep the vernacular schools.

Vernacular schools institutionalised racism at a very young impressionable age of our children. Racial distinction is further compounded by media programming and commercial adverts through petty racial profiling and prejudices.

On May 13th 1969 the non Malays showed their true colours.

2008 general election uncover this so called 'melting pot of races and religion' which is actually a 'boiling couldron of intolerant racists and zealots'.

After 52 years of independence, a large number of the citizens are functional-illiterates in the language of this country they claim citizenship of and conveniently ignore the efforts of nation building and social integration expected of citizens of any nation in this world with just a phrase of "tak tau cakap Melayu" [can't speak Malay].

It is very sad to note the the whole world is looking up at Obama for making the American Dream when in the same breath "24+7 percent of the populace hold our beloved nation hostage to debilitating social fragmentation in perpetuity" (Demi Negara).

What a sad sad situation and it is getting more and more absurd!

On this Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day. My mum was warded since Friday afternoon for very high fever and joint pains. Chikugunya has been rampant lately and she is convinced she is having it.

The first night, I went to visit her at 8 pm. Her fever was recorded at 39.5 degrees Celcius. There was a small basin of water with pieces of washcloth thrown in on her bedside drawer. She was sleeping [on her side] when I arrived and I didn't want to wake her up.

There was an electric wire plugged in to an outlet above her head and it ran down her back to a nebulizer used by a patient on the next bed. I was concerned that should my mum turn on her back she might be lying right over a live wire so I went looking for the staff nurse on duty.

There were 4 of them, sitting in a circle and looked to me like they were chatting. Also there was a bunch [approximately 10 ... I didn't count] of student nurses from Kolej Shahputra posing for pictures.

One of the staff nurse told one of the student nurse to unplug the nebuliser because it was no longer in use then. But the student nurse acted like it was the very first second she step foot in the ward. The beds, the patients, the plugs and the equipments seemed so out of her schema. The staff nurse reluctantly left her chat circle and came over to point things out to the student nurse.

That done, she woke my sleeping mum by patting her bum and shouting rather roughly. My mum opened her eyes and looked confused. The staff nurse asked if she had urinated and collected the sample. I saw the unused sample bottle on her side drawer. My mum had a hard time comprehending and responding while the nurse kept patting her and asking in her loud manner.

I went near and asked my mum if she want to go to toilet. My mum said she has been holding her bladder since afternoon because she found it difficult to get out of bed. She was having high fever and her joints pained every time she moved. The loud mouthed nurse turned to me and instructed me to get my mum the disposable adult diaper.

I asked her why would my mum need disposable diaper?

She said pity my mum having to hold her bladder since afternoon.

I went ???

I asked her, couldn't a bed pan be used? Afterall, they needed to collect her urine sample. Furthermore isn't that part of what a nurse is paid to do ... patient care? Anyway, there were bunches of student nurses around who actually need to learn about bed pan and stuff.

No doubt I would do all I can to make my mum comfortable but I think the nurse has a totally wrong attitude. She expects me to care for my mum in the ward. I have no problem with that.

...

MEA Post Ops - Two Months later

Internet connection has been unstable these past weeks. With the advent of 3G to my area, my once 'state-of-the-art' Samsung SGH-E590 handphone cum 460.8 Kbps speed modem is getting to be obsolete. He!he!he! Making futile excuse for my inability to update the blog. However, it is kind of a real put off everytime I tried to access my blog and I got kicked out by my server. Furthermore, I have this suspicion that my computer is taken over by the hyped 1st April virus [I forgot the name. Was it ficker?] which is supposed to turn an infected computer into a 'zombie'. I stayed away from my computer that day ... only turning it on AFTER midnight.

Only after that, it occured to me that it was 1st of April on the other side of midnight where the virus might have been hatched. Darn!!! Also, there was fresh news on yahoo. The virus inventors changed their minds since precautions were tightened worldwide and decided to release the virus later. *rolling eyes*. My computer has been behaving very strangely since. I tried reformatting but it is not working. My computer is still 'drunk'.

I am writing today because I feel I need to record my experience after the MEA procedure I undergone on 11 March. I noticed my posting here about MEA got hits from google search.

In the previous posting I mentioned about the discharge after the procedure was done. It lasted about three weeks. I went back to the gynae clinic and was given antibiotics to ward of infection. Well, I kept putting off taking the antibiotics. The discharge was 'straight forward'. There was nothing unusual about it. In the end I didn't take the antibiotics prescribed.

While I was having the discharge, I was also troubled by pain. Intense grippling pain that weakened me at times. It was not like the usual period cramps pain. It was more of a 'raw' kind. Just as the cramps were not fully subdued by the painkillers the doctors prescribed, neither did this one. It really crunched my face when it surfed.

After the fourth week, everything dried up and the pain was gone. I woke up on Monday morning without the usual 'heaviness'. My steps felt light and I was 'running' around at work place. I went back to swimming and managed to add the laps [I would like to think those laps added up to at least half a km].

On the sixth week, I began having terrible back pain. I attributed it to the swimming. My mood began swinging and boy, the ups and the downs took a dizzying height. It so happened that the weather was also begining to change. The fan churned up steamy air day and night. The couch that has served as my bed in front of the tv turned into a 'hot spot'. I couldn't even sit on it let alone sleep there.

Then on the morning of Monday 27 April, there was a slight spotting. I was alarmed. Towards evening, it became heavier and I noticed pink spot amid the brown stain. Could it be my menses? My reading on MEA mentioned about the 'failure' of the procedure and the menses returning. The next day, it got heavier but I did not see the colour of blood. Only brown stain with sourish smell. I never have problem with smelly menses before so I am a bit concerned with the smell. My next appointment with the gynae will be on May 19. At the moment, the discharge is more or less like a normal menses and is not bothering me much so I will just wait and see what will happen next before I press the panic button.

MEA - Post Ops

After having a myomectomy done in 1997 to remove a fibroid, I have been having abnormally heavy, prolonged [menorrhagia] and very painful menstruation. I was treated with Danazol, Tranexemic Acid and HRT which helped very little. My life was disrupted and over time the pain became unbearable and painkillers were unable to manage it.

Last year, after a chat session on YM with several old school mates, I got a mammogram and a pap smear done at HTAA Kuantan. The mammogram was inconclusive and the doctor ordered ultrasound scan which eventually ruled out breast cancer.

Instead of pap smear, the doctor did a pipeline procedure and the result was inconclusive too. So a hysteroscopy was ordered to rule out endometrial.

The result of the hysteroscopy was negative. No endometrial cancer. Thus doctor decided to do MEA to treat the menorrhagia. I found good readings on MEA here, here and here.

MEA was done under GA on the 11th. I was given gonadothropine hormone shot a month earlier. I was pushed into OT at 10 am and arrived back on my bed at 1pm.

I had the usual after GA effect ... violent vomiting but this time around I had problem passing urine in the first few hours after coming back from surgery. The bladder became quite irritated. By late afternoon I was able to urinate and felt a lot better.

I was taken off the drip and given solid dinner of rice with grilled chicken. I took a bite and vomited again. So I kept to warm plain water. By 8 pm I was hungry and getting very thirsty so I asked my daughter to get me some fruits. She came back with some watermelon and grapes at about 11 pm. I tried eating the fruits but I still vomited accompanied by purging. By midnight I was starving. A slight cramping in the tummy started

The next morning I was given [hehehe ... HTAA customary] two pieces of stale bread with a tiny drop of jam. I was thankful for a small pot of hot Milo. However, I still threw up the breakfast. Darn!!! The cramp did not go away but grew steadily worst.


I noticed I was leaking. I thought I was leaking urine so I put on a sanitary pad. At about 10 am two doctors came. One was the houseman I guess, and the other a visiting Professor from UIA whom I had some problem understanding his English. I mentioned about my leak. He read my medical history and noticed a urodynamic test I did last year at UIA clinic [paid rm150 for that - ordered by my local gynae]. He immediately called the *Dato* [the department head] to decide a procedure.

I was supposed to be discharged then but I had to see *Dato* first for the leak. It was about 5 pm when a nurse came to tell me Dato was occupied. I was asked to come back in two weeks time.

So I was discharged then. The houseman gave me a three days medical leave inclusive of the ward stay and the treatment. It would mean that I was supposed to race back to Jerantut at 5 pm from Kuantan then go to work the next day. That was so ridiculous!!! The attending nurses were indifferent to my predicament.The houseman has already left. I had to raise my voice and demanded to see the doctor. Geezzz!!!

The houseman came and apologized profusely. I was given one week off.

On the way back to Ayong's place I stopped at the beach. No sunset. We were on the east coast. Still the colour of the sky was awesome. [it was too dark for Ayong's 2 mp handphone camera]
Next morning, Friday 13th, I woke up to a blazing sun shining right through the curtain. The cramping stayed on but did not bother me much. The leaking did. We had a leisure breakfast at Teluk Chempedak. The breakfast stayed in tummy.
It rained heavily on the way back to Jerantut. Arrived home in the afternoon. I was seized by fatigue. My body hurt all over. I felt feverish so I went straight to bed. The leaking continued and so did the cramping.

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling ravenous. There was nothing in the house. I boiled some water and made me a mug of hot Milo sprinkled with oats. I surfed the net looking for more reading on MEA. I found out the leak was not urine but normal watery discharge which could last 1-6 weeks [read more here]. Legaaa!!!

I don't know if my hormone goes through a roller coaster ride. There is no mention about it in any of the reading. However I can attest to it. Last night I was alone in the house. Both children returned to their own lives. I became overly sensitive and at one point I was so emotional I almost quarelled with Ayong on the phone. It was like the post natal depression. I started crying watching soaps on Astro and couldn't stop crying. I felt drained ... emotionally and physically.

I am feeling better today. I managed to finish this piece.

Pantai Pelindung

Ayong is transferred to Kuantan effective 16th March. I was scheduled for MEA procedure on 11th and have to check into the ward on the 10th. Monday 9th was the birthday of Prophet Muhammad. It was a bit of a rush to get a place for her.

At the twelfth hour, Mahie [the flower sender] managed to secure a house. So, that Monday morning the three of us [me, her brother Epit and Ayong] drove to Raub and loaded my 'hero' and Ayong's Kembara with her fridge and matress and pillows and cushions and pots and pans and then braced heavy rain to reach Kuantan at about 9pm. Mahie [who was visiting his in-laws in Pekan] arranged to take us to the house for rent.

Our eternal gratitude to Mahie for having the foresight to make necessary arrangement with the landlord. The house was ready to be occupied. It was quite late and after a short introduction to the landlord and the landlady and the final deposit paid, we were able to finish unloading before hitting slumber land.

Ayong snapped this pic using her handphone camera the next day. This is the view of Pantai Pelindung in front of the house. KOOL !!!

Who and What Is It For?

My younger brother came home from Dubai for a three weeks extended leave. I was on TENS and was feeling rather drowsy when he knocked on the door with one of his twins.The other twin was sleeping. He needed to go shopping with his wife and planned to leave the children with me. But seeing I was not too well off, he took the non sleeping twin with him leaving the sleeping half and two other children, an eight year old girl and a six year old boy.

After a while, I saw the boy snipping off one strand of my seashell curtain and took delight in watching the shells dropping to the floor. When he realized I was watching him, he put the scissors back, ran to the settee and hide under a cushion. I asked him to collect the fallen shells in the hope that it would satisfy his curiosity. But he threw them all into the rubbish bin. What a waste!

The next day, my second youngest brother came home too. He works as a lorry driver delivering Gardenia breads to Pahang regions. Our talk went on to PPSMI [English for teaching Maths and Science in school - ETeMS]. I was pretty amused because this brother of mine didn't finish his form 4 study. He is a lorry driver and his spouse is a housewife. He asked me what is all the furore on ETeMS about. He is more concerned about teachers' lack of presence in the classroom rather than the conflict of using English language to teach the two subjects. His wife was more interested in some mathematical concept her child seemed to be having problem with. Both of them mentioned Math and Science in English is easier to understand. My son who is in his third year doing Mechanical Engineering at UIA chipped in saying that had he been given a choice he would choose to learn Science and Maths in English while in primary school. His elder sister now working in a bank agreed with him wholeheartedly.

From my point of view as someone who was involved in the training of the teachers for ETeMS since 2003, I am wondering what is the real issue with ETeMS. My casual observation shows that the teachers, parents and students don't seem to mind the programme. Who is it that raised the issue and for what purpose?

Not Again!

Finally, after two months of delay, I got the result of the procedure I undertook in October last year. Confirmed! I am CLEAR of cancerous cells. Alhamdulillah. Hmm ... kena buat kenduri kesyukuran ni!!! Mana lak kambing kambing yang suka berak bersepah keliling rumah?

However since the problem is still persisting, the gynae set me up for second final procedure; MEA [Microwave Endometrial Ablation] to be carried out next month. The doctor gave quite a detailed explanation of the procedure, compared to the previous one. This time it is therapeutic. The last procedure was investigative. However, in both cases, the doctor mentioned possiblity of emergency cut, which I didn't understand before. Also, she mentioned about GA. Shuddersssss!!!

I was given an injection of progesteron to help thin out the uterus wall. I didn't know the effect was immediate. As I was driving [almost 200km] back, I was seized by stomach cramps. I was also nauseatte and a splitting headache started.

The next day I was too sick to even got up. The nausea and the headache got worse. I felt feverish. In the afternoon, the bleeding started. My period is supposed to be a week away. The doctor didn't mention this but she did give me medical leave.

The pain grew steadily worse. I could hardly sleep. I took some pain killers which did not have much effect.

Morning and I had to call the office I won't be coming in. I spent the whole day sitting in the toilet. My back pained like I was in labour and the stomach cramps were worst than the post natal ones. Hehehe!!! Could be that I am getting 'manja' now. Sakit sikit perasanGGGG banyookkkk!!! Well .. I could do with a little pampering ... ;))

I managed to get to a clinic before 5 pm today. Luckily the doctor was symphatetic and he gave me sick leave without any question. Hmm .. looks like I am going to lose the whole week to pain. Tough!

So, come 11 next month I'll be going under the scalpel again. The memory of getting stick with the needles for the IV drip is starting to haunt me. Any tips on how to make the veins softer, anyone?

Tunggu Sekejap (Wait A While)

Came across this lyric while bloghopping. Used to hum the song in my teenage years [that would be in the early seventies] fully understanding the literal meaning of it.

Reading the words now ... the profound essence of seduction impregnating each line hits me.

Huh!!! How did the song ever made it through the strict sensor board.

I remember the singer was the late Datin Rapeah Buang. Don't know if anyone else sing the song.

How very different the tone is compared to Ne Me Quitte Pas although the theme is the same.


Tunggu sekejap (Wait a while)
wahai kasih (my love)
Kerana hujan (because the rain)
masih renyai (is still drizzling)

Tunggu sekejap (wait a while)
Dalam pelukan (in the embrace)
asmaraku (of my passion)

Jangan bimbang (worry not)
Walaupun siang (although the daylight)
akan menjelma (is emerging)

Malam ini (Tonight)
Belum puas ku (I am not through)
Bercumbu (making love)
dengan kanda (with you)

Tunggu sekejap (Wait a while)
wahai kasih (my love)
Tunggulah sampai (wait until)
hujan teduh (the rain stops)

Mariku dendang (Let me serenade you)
Jangan mengenang (don't think of)
orang jauh (the one who is not here)

Jangan pulang (Don't go)
Jangan tinggalkan (Don't leave)
daku seorang (me alone)

Tunggu sekejap (Wait a while)
kasih (my love)
Tunggu (wait)

Thank God for Labu

Got a nice surprise yesterday afternoon when an old friend suddenly called for the recipe for Sekaya Labu [Pumpkin Custard].

Zipah surprised many of us when she turned up with hubby and youngest son for a 'makan makan' [casual gathering] last October. It was such a great pleasure when your school mate of thirty years ago took the time to visit you. I was happy beyond words. It was just a casual get together. A spur of the moment thingy. No special occasion whatsoever. Instead, the gathering became an event itself. With the advance of technology [read: internet (specifically Yahoo Group)], I was able to share the moment with many other old school mates on the egroup. The ripple effect was unbelievable.

Best of all, the sharing of the event on the net spurred a few more such get togethers between us. Communications in other modes has also enhanced. I would say we are closer now as friends than we were ever before.

Yesterday, Zipah called to confirm the recipe because her youngest son asked her to make it for him. He is now in a boarding school and came home for CNY. His aunty sent some pumpkins to the house and being the youngest son back for holiday from a boarding school, it is time to 'manja manja' with mum. And what best way to manja with mum than ask for something special to eat. And that manja act is now extended to me for which I am welling up here. I just have no words to describe the beautiful feelings I have inside me at this moment.

It was made more beautiful when this morning while I was still in bed lazing the day away thinking of the missed sunset watching I was supposed to have yesterday evening in PD, Zipah called. She wanted to share her success in making the sekaya labu. Her son was having it for breakfast and shouted 'sedap' (delicious) into the phone from the back.

What better compliment could one ask for? Thank you Zipah for helping me start my day beautifully.

Thank God for labu.