Monday, August 31, 2009

My Final Curtain?

It's Sunday and usually I would sleep in on Sunday. However I have been trying to finish my raya curtain and it's not even half way done. So I got up 'early' [weekend early that is] and went straight to the sewing machine. Darn! No electricity! But I antipated that and had bought a new belting so I can operate the machine by foot pedal.

It was almost twelve when I finally managed to fix the new belting. It has been so long ago since I last operate the machine on foot paddle and my coordination of necessary limbs seemed out of sync. And the electricy came back on just then. Sheezzzz!!! I wasted almost 5 hours making a hole in the belt and securing the pin [lost a lot of sweat,half my mind, ALL my patience and almost losing a finger hehehe!].

A few rounds and the sewing came to a halt! Turned out to be a loose screw. My back started aching and I was struggling to get going when all of a sudden I realized this might be the last curtain I sew. It hit me so profoundly that I burst out in tears uncontrolably.

The last curtain I sew was 5 years ago and I never really finished it but I hung it nevertheless. I could have easily sent it to a tailor but there is some kind of satisfaction in doing my own sewing. I have always taken pride in my needlework.

A long time ago when the children were small I took to tailoring for friends and neighbours to supplement my income when their father was intent on carving his own niche, leaving me to take care of the children on a Rm60 per month of what was left on my payslip. The rest of it was deducted to pay for loans I made for him [not much but it was all I had].

Ayong and Epit have been pestering me for raya curtain since few years back. My excuse was the old curtain was still good. Ayong finished her study and started working last year. In March this year she was transferred to Kuantan and last June she insisted on getting new curtains for the house. We went shopping for curtain material at Ala Moda. Ayong's excitement rubbed on me and I felt well enough to tackle the sewing. Nothing fancy just loads of straight stitching.

So there I was, struggling with meters upon meters of curtain materials and I was hit by a strong emotion. My eyesight is failing. I have to take off my glasses and peered as close as I could get to the needle to get it threaded. I doubt if I could thread the needle in the next 6 years [I'll be 55 then if I am still alive]. That's when it hit me. For all intent and purpose this might be my final curtain [hehehe! feel the hair standing yet?].

There's no word to explain the feeling. The past years of my life flowed by leaving me drained. At about 2.00 PM, Ayong called to tell me she was visiting her father and would not be coming home for the weekend [she had to go to KL on Saturday, her father is staying in Nilai and Monday is Independence Day holiday]. I wasn't expecting her for the weekend [she already told me she won't be coming back] but knowing she was visiting her father made me feel so lonely and very sad.

At about 11.00 pm she called to tell me she was on the way and might reach home at 2.00 AM! I got worried sick thinking she would be driving on Karak highway alone at midnight. She arrived at 1.30AM, raveneous. Unlucky for her because I had mushroom omellete for breaking of fast. No left over! She chose to have instant roti canai with condensed milk because Maggie mee takes longer to cook.

He! he! I am happy again! My daughter is home. Safely.

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