Thursday, August 14, 2008

Ode to brave women

This is a story of a friend.

A very good friend.

When her husband got himself another woman, she left.

She has children and the husband never tried to gain custody of them nor bothered with child support.

She made a life for herself and her children. Feed them, clothe them, educate them until finally the first child graduated and started working.

She was on cloud nine. She was hoping that her first born would be able to live a life she didn't get to live.

With her meagre income, she couldn't afford to provide much to ease her first born in establishing the first step into an entirely different world. The world of a young working adult. A yuppy world.

She went as far as taking out a loan to help her child rent her own place, buy her bed and other basic necessities including transport.

The loan was not a gift. She was much too poor to afford such luxury. She was just a proxy and the arrangement was for the child to take care of it as soon as possible which would take three months at the very least.

Before second month passed, the child got a call from the father. The father wanted the child to be the proxy for him to get a car loan. The father was blacklisted long ago.

My friend was sad by the turn of the event. The child was confused.

How very selfish of the father. By asking the child to be the proxy for his car loan, he is denying the child of the chance to be in control of her financial, her plan, her life.

No doubt he will be paying the monthly installments, but the mere fact that the child is taking out the loan for him [ten years duration] is going to have serious implication on her financial standing. She should be thinking of investing in a house or doing other things such as furthering her studies. Children should have the freedom to plan for their own life, not tied up to their parents' financial commitment.

I must salute my very good friend.

She calmly and quietly gave her piece of mind directly to her ex husband.

The child was very humbled by her mother's courage and all the good values she instilled in her.

My very good friend was proud to know that despite her bitterness towards her broken marriage, her child was able to understand the right values in life.

I know so because I was there with her when she was going through it all.

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