If I Knew

This is dedicated to all of you who visit me here. Thank you

If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming, you would know I do.

If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right.

There will always be another day to say our "I love you's", And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget, Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day, That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.

(Send in by Cindy B of Columbus, Ohio to Joke-of-the-Day)

This is Rex Barker reminding you: So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear. Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear. Take time to say "I'm sorry," "please forgive me," "thank you" or "it's okay". And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today. Just Do It. [RexBarker@HumourNetwork.com]

Come Again?

My girl and I went shopping for her first job wardrobe [aside from 'shopping' for her first job transportation means and first job lodging].

Eventually, we found something suitable. There was no other customer in the newly opened store. While my girl went into the fitting room to try out the garments, I waited near the cashier counter. The store people were busy putting price tags on their items. There was one Chinese girl and I thought she looked familiar. She was busy with the tagging.

My girl decided to purchase the items she tried on. We went to the counter to pay. The Chinese girl went through the procedure of scanning the tags, folding and bagging the purchase. She was so intent in her chore. I took out my purse and as I handed her the money I asked if the she knew me. She responded '... oh cikgu aa!, soli tak nampak' [oh teacher, sorry I didn't see you]. I asked if she really remember me. She said yes.

Sheeezzz!!! I was standing right in front of her for almost half an hour and then I handed her the money and she DIDN'T see me.

My Point Of View - 1

Today I went looking for a spin cap. I remember seeing one on display at an electrical shop in Jerantut town. I had to replace my old worn out [koyak rabak putus dua] spin cap used to cover the spin tub of my semi-auto upper load washing machine. I had used it since 1997 and the machine is still fine except for the spin cap.

The shop I went to: no longer sell the spare spin cap. The wife of the shop owner kindly directed me to where I could get it.

It was a 'work' shop - a shop where all the broken electrical gadgets were piled on top of the other and the 'pomen' worked in the back.

A lovely Indian girl greeted me - 'Cari apa?' in perfect Bahasa Melayu. I thought she was a customer [judging from the side of the table she was standing].

I showed her the broken spin cap not knowing what it was in BM. She took it and disappeared into the back door.

A few minutes later she came out waving a new spin cap. I sighed with relief because I thought I might not be able to get one. However, there was one problem. She couldn't tell the price because there was no tag whatsoever. She went on to explain that if I want to buy it, then I would have to wait for her 'tokeh' to come back from fetching her son. I agreed to wait because I really wanted it and doubt if I could get it elsewhere in Jerantut.

While waiting, the 'pomen' came out looking for his log book to log in the service he had rendered earlier to another customer. He couldn't find the log book and started badmouthing the 'tokeh'.

After sometimes, I got quite agitated waiting and asked the shop assistant if she could call her 'tokeh'. She refused on the ground that her tokeh prohibited the use of telephone [there was one around].

We lapsed into silence. The girl tried to make small conversation. She asked where I was staying and said I looked familiar. Turned out we have meet before under a very different circumstance. I conducted a motivational course in her school when she was sitting for her SPM in 2005.

I was amazed at her flawless BM. I blatantly asked her if any of her Indian friends who deserved to further their study, failed to do so all because of the race. She firmly said no. I purposely brought out the racial segregation issue and asked her in plain words, did she at any point in her life [she is 20 yo] feel marginalised in this country. Again she solidly answered no.

I looked at myself and I knew I had never treat any Malaysian differently because of the race. It saddened me to find out recently that I actually am a 'dagang merempat' for I lack M130. I am not the child of the soil.

*confused*

The Next Phase

My little girl has graduated and is considering job offers. First the worry is that she might not be able to get jobs because her discipline of study is too common. I have friends who go 'ohh ...' which somehow conveys that condemning feeling that it is not as prestigous as their children's. But my girl, being a chip of the old block [old block= me the mum] is never unnerved with this kind of belittling and brushed it aside as small mindedness.

The moment she received her final exam result, her application through jobstreet yielded an interview. I was nervous. She was all ready for it. She went for the interview in the morning and took a bus home in the afternoon. On the bus, she got a call asking her to go for medical check up. Barely a month after she left university, she got her first job offer on a bus through a phone. What a far cry from my first [and only] job offer.

"This girl has turned into a woman and I dreamed of this moment all my life." That's a line from a song by Mary McGregor I used to belt out when I was young and just started out on my own ... living alone ... bathing in the novelty of 'working world'. Now ... my little girl has grown up into a young woman. And my! She made me so proud of her. She is very independant and ever so thoughtful. Whenever she walks with me now, she would take my hand [spondylosis coupled with arthritis turns out to be rather debilitating] especially in crossing split level floorings.

A Walk Down Memory Lane

Last week I traveled from Jerantut to Kuantan via Jengka to meet an old school mate who had kindly offered to give my first born a bit of side coaching before she attend a job interview. Ironically, when we were in school, I didn’t know Ghaz. He was from the English medium class and I was from the Malay medium. Had it not been for a reunion we had in September last year, I wouldn’t have this good fortune to benefit Ghaz’s offer. I can’t thank him enough for spending the whole of Friday afternoon with us. Thank you for your helping hand Ghaz.

While getting reacquainted, we discovered Ghaz’s elder brother was my former boss way back in the 80’s. I remember him as the most ‘humane’ boss in my book of work. Like Ghaz, he too ‘extended’ his professional capacity which helped me tremendously in dealing with a difficult situation at work. He went on to become pengetua of SEMSAS and ended up as Pahang State Education Director and conferred a datukship.

I’ve taken the road a number of times. However, on attending the September reunion, I missed a junction and ended up driving the winding old Jerantut-Maran-Kuantan road. A two-hour journey [had I not missed the junction] turned out to be a four-hour one. I was LOST … not the way but lost down the memory lane. I wrote a rambling about it in Bas7377 and here is an edited excerpt.

Another first yang den ingat ialah balik kampung cuti penggal pertama. Just as I was left to my own devices to get to the school the previous year, going home for the first term break was another big adventure for me. There were two ways to get to Jerantut from Kuantan. One was through Temerloh and the other was through Maran. I couldn't get the Kuantan-Temerloh bus ticket and thought of taking a taxi which cost a lot more than a bus ticket. Saimah my classmate from Felda Ulu Jempol (now a Science & Math Officer at PPD Maran) suggested that I take a Kuantan-Maran- Jerantut “bas ting-tong” with her.

I think ignorance is a bliss because I had never travelled that road and had no idea of how long the journey was going to be or the condition of the road. I was happy to save some money, so on the day, I lugged my bag (minus the wheels, mind you) all the way from the hostel to the bus stop across the school. Then get the bag up the bus to Kuantan and from Kuantan took another bus to Maran. And boy! Did I regret not taking the taxi.

From Kuantan to Maran, it was still bearable though it took too long. I don't remember how many hours, but I had to stand all the 83 km to Maran and the road was not like it is today. It was long, narrow, winding, bumpy and dusty. The road extorted a heavy toll on poor me. Guess what!!! MUNTAH IJO (threw up bile). I was alone and felt so sick. Luckily I went prepared. I had my plastic bags with me. Hmmm... I wonder what would happen had I gone sick all over the bus.

It was already late in the evening when I reached Jerantut and I had not taken anything since breakfast. Sick as I was (felt like limp vege) no one offered to take my bag down (not even the bus conductor - hmmm! What manners). I remember my knees buckled in as I went down the bus. I don't remember being scared or helpless though, just a lot embarrassed. I went to get a taxi and tried to negotiate with the driver to drop me at my door. The driver refused. He would only take me to the junction and I would have to walk 2 km to reach home.

I was feeling too sick and tired to walk the 2 km with my heavy bag. So I waited for another taxi. This time I didn't negotiate. I just told the taxi driver where I wanted to go, Sungai Mai. The driver asked for RM20 [usually it was RM4] and I said ok. When we reached the junction, I told the driver I didn't have the money to pay him and he had to send me to my door and get the money from my parents. He he he !!! That worked. And it was past dusk when I arrived home.

Having gone through this kind of experience and I think I did come out a better person, somehow I wouldn't let my own children go through what I went through. I wrote about this in my celoteh column on exsas website (http://www.exsas. com.my/celoteh4. htm).

Today, I thank Allah Almighty; my first born is attending job interviews. Here’s wishing you all the best my ‘Jewel’.

Go out in joy and be led forth in peace

Dream but not make them your master

Think but not make them your aim

Treat triumphs and disaster the same

For they are imposters anyway

Talk with crowd and keep your virtue

Never let your enemies or friends hurt you

Hold on when there’s nothing left

Except the will

For truth will prevail

p/s

Not very original but I have always love Kipling's If.

Ne Me Quitte Pas [Don't Leave Me] - If You go Away

It's been sometimes since the last update. I've been swallowed by daily chores and poor health.

However, someone very dear sent me three videos from youTube of such a lovely song that I have to share here.

The English version of the song - If You Go Away; has been an all time favourite of mine. I was first introduced to it; sung by a Greek songstress Nana Mouskouri. Later on I heard Shirley Bassey's version and love it as well. I never knew the song originated from a French song by Jacques Brel. The dear friend send me a post-humous duet with J Brel done by a stunning French songstress, H Segara. I simply love the French version although I do not undertand a single word.

I took it for granted that the lyrics of the English version is more or less the translation of the French version. However my dear friend surprised me yet again with an English translation if the French version which is so beautiful.

Ne Me Quitte Pas (Don't Leave Me)

Ne me quitte pas (Don't leave me)
Il faut oublier (let's forget for all)
Tout peut s'oublier (can be forgotten
Qui s'enfuit deja (which is gone by already)
Oublier le temps (Forget the time)
Des malentendus (of misunderstandings)
Et le temps perdu (and the time lost)
A savoir comment (finding out how)
Oublier ces heures (to forget those hours)
Qui tuaient parfois (which sometimes killed)
A coups de pourquoi (by blows of "why?")
Le coeur du bonheur (the heart of happiness)
Ne me quitte pas (4 fois) (don't leave me)

Moi je t'offrirai (I will give you)
Des perles de pluie (pearls of rain)
Venues de pays (comes from countries)
Où il ne pleut pas (where it never rains)
Je creuserai la terre (I will dig up the earth)
Jusqu'apres ma mort (even in death)
Pour couvrir ton corps (to cover your body)
D'or et de lumière (with gold and with light)
Je ferai un domaine (I will make a kingdom)
Où l'amour sera roi (where love shall be king)
Où l'amour sera loi (where love sahll be law)
Où tu seras reine (where you shall be queen)
Ne me quitte pas (4 fois) (don't leave me)

Ne me quitte pas (don't leave me)
Je t'inventerai (i shall invent)
Des mots insensés (senseless words)
Que tu comprendras (which you will understand)
Je te parlerai (I shall tell you)
De ces amants là (about those lovers)
Qui ont vu deux fois (who saw twice)
Leurs coeurs s'embraser (their hearts goes out in flames)
Je te racont'rai (I shall tell you)
L'histoire de ce roi (the story of this king)
Mort de n'avoir pas (dead for not having succeeded)
Pu te rencontrer (in finding you)
Ne me quitte pas (4 fois) (don't leave me)

On a vu souvent (One has often seen)
Rejaillir le feu (burst anew the fire)
De l'ancien volcan (of an old volcano)
Qu'on croyait trop vieux (believes to be spent)
Il est paraît-il (There are, it is said)
Des terres brûlées (scorched lands)
Donnant plus de blé (yielding more wheat)
Qu'un meilleur avril (than the best of April)
Et quand vient le soir (And when evening comes)
Pour qu'un ciel flamboie (to make the sky flares up)
Le rouge et le noir (don't the black)
Ne s'épousent-ils pas (and red wed)
Ne me quitte pas (4 fois) (don'tleave me)

Ne me quitte pas (don't leave me)
Je ne vais plus pleurer (I'll weep no more)
Je ne vais plus parler (I'll speak no more)
Je me cacherai là (I'll hide right here)
À te regarder (to look at you)
Danser et sourire (dance and smile)
Et à t'écouter ( to listen to you sing)
Chanter et puis rire (and then laugh)
Laisse-moi devenir (let me become)
L'ombre de ton ombre (the shadow of your shadow)
L'ombre de ta main (the shadow of your hand)
L'ombre de ton chien (the shadow of your dog)
Ne me quitte pas (4 fois) (but don't leave me)