Appreciate What You Have

Ahhh ….. this is the hardest part of blogging …. to keep going. Getting started was hard enough but keeping going is harder. There is so much to put down but I don’t have the spontaneity. I am too corrupted with the technical and mechanical aspect of writing. I hope I’ll learn to “de-corrupt” (if ever such word exist in the corpus of English Language). In the mean time I wish to share something I collected from RexBarker@HumourNetwork.com sent in by Randy F of Atlanta.

"Appreciate What You Have”

The baby is teething, the children are fighting, and my husband just called and said to eat dinner without him. Okay, one of these days you'll shout, "Why don't you grow up and act your age?"
...and they will.
Or, "You guys get outside and find yourself something to do and don't slam the door."
...and they won't.
You'll straighten up their bedrooms all neat and tidy with bumper stickers discarded, bed-spread tucked and smoothed, toys all displayed on the shelves, hangers in the closets, animals caged, and you'll say out loud, "Now I want you to stay this way!"
...and they will.
Then you'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked to death, a cake with no finger traces through the frosting, and you'll say, "Now there's a meal for company."
...but you'll eat it alone.
And you'll say, "I want complete privacy on the phone! No dancing around, no pantomimes, no demolition crews! Silence! Do you hear me?"
...and you'll have it.
No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti, no more anxious nights under a vaporizer tent, no more dandelion bouquets, no more iron-on patches, no more wet-knotted shoe strings, no more tight boots, or rubber bands on pony tails.
Now, imagine your lipstick with a point. No baby sitter on New Year's Eve. Washing clothes only once a week. No PTA meetings, no car pools, no blaring radios, having your own roll of tape, no more Christmas presents made out of toothpicks and paste, no more wet-oatmeal kisses, no tooth fairy, no giggles in the dark, no knees to Band-aid.
Only a memory of a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up?"
And in the silence will come the echo, "I did."

This is Rex Barker reminding you to appreciate what you have and when you have it. Don't wait until after things have passed to appreciate them. Lets all focus on what we do have - not what we don't have - and let there be giant smiles on our faces.

I like Barker’s reminder – to focus on what we DO have. I remember someone very dear once told me to count my worth not only in what have to be done but in what I have achieved too .

Well, to Momilo – enjoy your talcum powder snow and to limau purut kacang botor, my heart goes out to you. I pray you have the strength to ride out the little storm. Like all storms, this one will subside and sometimes there is a beautiful rainbow at the end of a little storm.

Wassalam

What's Happening To Our Teens

I went to a school today for a task I have been entrusted to carry out after form three students sat for their summative test. I’ve been doing this for many years now and am convinced that the task is a booster for the age to catch up with me fast. The toll is especially high on my sight and carpal tunnel. The knots in my shoulders are so tight and ahh .. my poor back is crying for a respite from all the abuse it has been subjected to over the years.

Am not complaining but contemplating rather. I first did this for the experience and now I feel compelled doing it because I am experienced. What an irony!!! Many times I thought I’d quit by declining the invitation but at the last minute, they couldn’t get a replacement and I ended up being the “replacement” for myself. All because … *alaa … akak boleh sebab tak de sapa nak kacau ke apa …. anak anak dah besar … tak payah nak kena rush gi ambik anak kat sekolah ke nak kena masak bla bla bla…*

Today, as I was returning to the meeting after breakfast at the school canteen, I asked something to one of the girls and as I turned away another girl asked her …*mak sedara awak ke tu* in a cynical manner and broke out laughing (my three colleagues were taken aback and crunched their faces while shaking their heads).

The issue here is impudent behaviour of the 16 year olds of a religious school. Such behaviour is not exclusive to this bunch of young girls in lowered head-cover. In fact, many of you will agree with me and even attest to the fact that such behaviour is so rampant among our teenagers.

Gosh! I am sleepy. Sorry friends… the old bones need to lie down *tongue*. Will try to continue tomorrow. Good night.

Anger - Part 2

This blog thingy is getting under my skin.I’ve been spending a large chunk of my beauty sleep fiddling with the page. Hehehe … hopefully this investment will help build up enough confidence for me to undertake something bigger at my workplace.
One of the reason for my anger was this piece of writing I laboured for a certain corner of the cyberspace which was rejected on a reason I felt was stupid. Very. So, in this space I claim as mine, here is the rejected piece and to anyone who is kind enough to read my thoughts penned here, please tell me what you think.

Assalamualaikum warga xxxxx yang diberkati,

Lama sungguh akak tak sempat nak berceloteh. Bermacam alasan. Ramadhan menjengah lagi. Semenjak menjadi ahli XXXXX pada 2003, akak rasa bersemangat sekali menjalani Ramadan dan seakan tak sabar menanti ketibaan Syawal. Satu perasaan yang membawa nostalgia zaman bersekolah di SSSSSS. Perasaan yang terhakis sedikit demi sedikit oleh kedewasaan. Dan kini Ramadhan 2007, akak sambut dengan hati yang berbaur resah.

Semenjak XXXXX ditetaskan pada tahun 1997 dan AJK pertama dilantik pada 1998, XXXXX telah diterajui oleh tiga orang Presiden. Kini menjelang genap10 tahun usia XXXXX, nampaknya roda berpusing ke bawah. XXXXX seakan hilang semangat. Acara utama tajaan XXXXX iaitu AAAAAA seolah tidak dipedulikan langsung oleh ahli ahli. Seolah ada yang tak kena di mana-mana. Malahan ada AJK yang meletak jawatan, sementelahan selama ini pun sukar mendapat ahli yang sanggup menjadi AJK.

Dalam kita meniti usia 50 tahun sebagai rakyat sebuah negara merdeka, di mana kita XXXXXians setelah 10 tahun berpersatuan? Adakah XXXXX akan tinggal nisan menjelang MAT tahun depan?

Akak ingin berkongsi satu senarai yang dikirim ke laman HumorNetwork.com

“Dos and Don’ts” - Nancy

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future.
Live your life one day at a time.

Don't give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less then perfect.
It is a fragile thread that binds each of us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured each step of the way.

Raya Ritual

When I was small, bersalam hari raya with my parents were such dreaded chore. Don't know why but it was very hard. Unnatural. And the timing was never right. This person would not be here, another one not ready yet .... 1001 reasons. There was no special *salam raya*. My brothers and sister would just salam raya with our parents anytime anywhere. Sapa siap dulu, dia gi dulu salam raya. Usually I would be so busy in the kicthen sometimes I even missed the salam raya. I never hug or kiss my parents (count out zaman hingus ler).
When I have my own children I make sure this particular raya ritual is observed faithfully and continue even after I became single again. I believe that kissing and hugging my grown up children even in public is nothing shameful. The ritual I started with my own children are being observed by other family members and their children. And I am very proud to declare here that I have no more inhibition about salam raya and even kiss and hug my old father and mother.

Raya pic with heliconia

Ayong, Umi and Epit and the fresh bunch of Heliconia from the bush making one for the camera on 1st Syawal morning after our raya ritual (next post hopefully). Hmmm.... we are grrrrrrrrrreeeennnnn.

Raya pic

Took me 2 nights to try upload raya pics. Unsuccessful.

For not giving up, I got this one with nephews and nieces and Baba half sitting. He fell down a rambutan tree two months ago and smashed his hip bones. All of us thought he would be confined to bed for a long time. Totally refused to see a doctor. Now with the help of an old bomoh patah from Kg Pangsanam Temerloh (of course not denying Almighty Allah swt) Baba can get up and move about and the pain is a lot less. Syukur Alhamdulillah.

6 Syawal 1428H

Much contemplation. Loads of doubts. Writing has always been a hard chore. Couldn't even keep a diary when younger though never declared given up. The older I get the more inhibited I am. The better my penmanship is; the harder it is to get the thoughts from the neurons of my brains to flow to the tip of my fingers. The wider reach the writing is, the more *pantang* there is: tak boleh itu tak boleh ini, tak boleh begitu tak boleh begini, tak boleh di situ tak boleh di sini : nanti ada yang terasa hati, kecik hati, ambil hati, BUSUK hati. But what the heck! This craving to have my thoughts shared is taking the better of my sense. The last entry to my journal was way back in 1984 ages before blog was created and I think the termites have long had their fill with it so here goes another entry and this time I am techno.

I am angry. There are lots of anger in me. Have been hoarding them since forever; giving me bad acid reflux. Never really know how to deal with it or what to do with it. Always conflicting with the values I was brought up with. At the moment my anger is collecting at a certain corner in the cyberspace.

Part 1

After a decade of struggling with the pain of my broken marriage, I was steadily resigning to a dark frozen world of loneliness. My two children are grown up, attending university and would soon have their own world. I have just made home where I didn't know anyone. Then out of the blue I was transferred to a new workplace. I was going into the mood where the curtain was down and the light switches were turned off one by one by one. Thick ashes were fast covering the ember.

From my window, I watched my roses losing their petals under the fading purple sky. From a different window on the desktop, a small tornado coming from the west lifted off the thick ashes on the last of the dying ember and somehow nursed it to life.

Took a whole year and a lot of nursing to get a flame out of the ember and the tornado turned into a gentle breeze that kept the flame going. The flame grew quite strong to get noted and was soon deemed good enough to heat up and keep light a small corner in the cyberspace.

However, a couple of hurricanes from the east put a damper and worked hard at putting out the flame and easing it out of the cybercorner. That made me angry. And sadly, I didn't know how to deal with it effectively. Throughout my life, I was taught to not give in to anger.

Ironically, I discovered priceless treasure in friendship. H and S, my tabik springgg to you two. Thank you for your support. I am so blessed to have you two for allies.

But most of all I dedicate this part to a very special person who gets covered with soot in the process of de-ashing(?) the dying ember . There is no word to describe my gratitude. I am much humbled by your wisdom.

Thank you.